Here’s to Smiley: thanks for the blood, sweat and beers

On May 13, 1940, Winston Churchill gave his first speech as prime minister to the House of Commons, famously saying: “I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.”

On May 13, 2021, Smiley Ncube gave his final speech as a barman at Giles in Craighall Park, famously almost saying: “I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, beers and sweat.”

Smiley left Giles yesterday after 22 years working at the establishment. Lockdown has been tough on the hospitality industry. It has been even tougher on those who serve, many of whom had been left with nothing, living on scraps of jobs, kindness from friends, generosity from communities.

Just under a year ago, I walked into Giles to speak to the managers as they considered shutting down because Nkosazana Clarice Dlamini Zuma and the National Disastrous Council had told South Africans it was “our responsibility to call the police when we see people with alcohol”.

Which, as Peter Bruce wrote in a column last month, pretty much summed up the reasons for the ban on booze — prejudice rather than any credible science. Up until April, the 19 weeks of bans had cost about R36bn in lost retail sales and R30bn in lost tax revenues.

Our responsibilities, I wrote in a column in July, “are to be kind to others during this time to the best of our ability. It’s our responsibility to help those struggling to make ends meet because of this ban.

“I had two barmen at my local, Giles, reach out to me for help with the rent. They relied heavily on tips when they could sell alcohol. Now, Pholani, back at work as an occasional waiter, is selling hand wash and is thinking about starting a doggrooming business. He doesn ’ t even like dogs,” I wrote.

Says Pholani: “Sbu is thinking of selling his beloved bakkie and buying a smaller car to do deliveries. He has been delivering veggies on the side. A waiter, John, is not sure if he will have a job by next week. Smiley, whose smile has left him, said he had ‘nothing’, and now knew what it was like to be ‘really, truly poor’.”

Smiles has been at Giles ever since I started going there a long time ago when the Gillies family still owned it. Some of the staff from those early days are still about. Wellington the manager is now retired. Kenny is still going, so, too, Herbert. Pholani and Sbu are still hanging on. John has moved on.

All of them are looking for extra, part-time work.

Those bars that opened on the sly during lockdown have built up a dedicated following. Giles did not and is still recovering slowly. The staff is perhaps the main reason I go to Giles, mostly when it’s quiet in the midafternoon. I often sit alone, neck two beers and shoot the breeze with the staff about life and sport.

Pholani is a rugby nut. Jannie du Plessis was in Giles the other day and he grabbed a selfie. Gcobani Bobo is a regular. There are other rugby players past and present who pop past. They don’t get mobbed or bugged. It’s that sort of bar.

Pholani wants to start a YouTube channel as the rugby barman. I’ve told him to go for it. He can talk up a storm, some of it nonsense, most of it a singsong, entertaining rant. I’ll ask him to write down his thoughts one day.

Sbu is a football fan. Last year he would fist-bump me at the form of Liverpool. This year he just shakes his head and asks me what is going on. Sbu asks me who I am betting on come the weekend and then tells me his predictions. He has come right, spectacularly, on a few occasions. I spectacularly forgot to back his tip.

Kenny is all about sports betting. He talks as slowly as he walks. He once showed me a long, R3 betting slip in which he had missed out on a couple of hundred thousand rand by just three matches.

And then there is Smiley. We sometimes talk sport, but mainly we talk about life and home and how things work, how they don’t and how they should. His smile is not a roombursting explosion, but a slow, small thing that is real.

From Thursday it will no longer be seen at Giles, save for visits. They threw him a farewell on Thursday afternoon. He deserved it after 22 years of the blood, toil, beers and sweat he has given them, and the joy he has brought so many.